How To Accept What IsFeb 15, 2023
So much suffering comes from simply not accepting the current moment for what it is.
We think we know better. We think things should be different. We think that person shouldn't be doing this or that. We think we should be further along by now. We think this shouldn't be happening to us. We think we should be, do, or have more.
But none of these thoughts are actually "true".
So, why do we have so much trouble accepting what is?
Maybe we're afraid that if we surrender to what is, that nothing will ever change for us. We fear that we will get stuck in that moment forever or won't continue to move towards our dreams.
Maybe we're afraid to let go of control. We think if we surrender to the moment we will lose part of ourselves. The truth is, we are losing part of ourselves, but it's a part that was never really "us" in the first place.
Each time we choose to surrender fully to the moment, we shed a layer of tension and tightness. We become less fear, and more love. And things start to change faster than they ever could by resisting the moment we’re in.
Today, I am breaking down the most common thoughts/phrases that I have found myself using when I am resisting a current moment.
I hope they will help you return to a place of acceptance the next time you feel resistant in the moment and trust that things are unfolding exactly as they should be.
1. I Should Have Done Something Different/ I Should Have Known Better
This form of resistance is based on the flawed thinking that you didn't need to go through the experience or experiences that you went through in order to learn a lesson.
It could also be that you are judging yourself for needing to experience something more than once in order to fully understand the lesson.
But the truth is, learning comes from experiencing and playing with life. We learn by making choices and seeing what happens as a result. No amount of someone else telling us what we should do in a situation teaches us more than the wisdom we gain from our own direct experiences.
Should you really have done something different if it's not what you did? Hint: The answer is no.
Should you really have known better than you did? Hint: The answer is no.
Don't you think if you truly knew to do something different, you would have?
Whatever choice you made in the moment that led to the one you are in now was perfectly designed to teach you what you are ready to learn. To resist the experience is also resisting all of that amazing wisdom and knowledge that you have now.
There is nothing you should have done other than exactly what you did. There is no such thing as "knowing better". You're right where you're supposed to be.
2. I Should Be Further Along By Now / I Should Be Or Have More Than I Have
This form of resistance typically comes in around any milestones, accomplishments, or achievements you are working towards that you've placed your own timeline on.
There's this idea that the moment we realize we want something, we should get it within "X" amount of time.
The truth is, as soon as you decide you want something and start moving towards it, you will be presented with the exact experiences necessary for you to transform into the person that is capable of getting and keeping it.
It's only our ego that comes in and tries to convince us that we should already have it by now. The truth is, if we were ready for it, it would be here. I know that can be tough to hear sometimes. Trust me I get it!
But should you really be further along if you simply aren't yet?
Should you really have "X" goal if it isn't here?
If it isn't staring you in the face, the answer is no. The more you can shift back into accepting what is, and trust that there will be a moment where you are and have all that you want, the more you can enjoy the process of becoming.
3. This Shouldn't Be Happening To Me
This form of resisting what is typically comes from the flawed thinking that things should not be happening or unfolding exactly as they are.
These are moments where we have fallen into "victim consciousness".
Making the shift from, "life happens to me" to "life happens for me" will allow you to come back to a place of acceptance.
Instead of getting caught feeling like a victim in these situations, try asking yourself these questions:
- What is this moment/situation teaching me about myself?
- Who is this moment asking me to show up as?
- How can I demonstrate all that I have become in this moment?
4. They Shouldn't Be Doing / Saying That
This form of resistance happens when we bring other people into the mix. These are instances where we are believing flawed thinking that other people shouldn't be thinking, acting, or behaving exactly as they are in the moment.
Should that person really be doing something different than they are? The answer is no, because if they were, they would be.
The truth is, we are not here to tell other people who to be, how to behave, or what to do. We are not responsible for other people's choices, actions or behaviors and it is not our job to "fix" or change anyone.
To believe this is to believe another flawed idea that "we know better" than someone else in the situation they are in and that is simply not true.
In this moment, accepting them for who they are allows you to accept the moment for what it is, and choose your response accordingly.
There you have it! I hope this blog allows you to release resistance in the moment, so you can suffer less and enjoy life more.
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