How To Build Self TrustFeb 01, 2023
For a long time I was unhappy with various aspects of my life, but felt powerless to change it.
I had a history of betraying myself in an attempt to please and receive love from others, and this made it challenging to trust myself, keep my own word, and follow through on commitments to myself.
I would get a spark of inspiration, start taking action, and after a few days, fear and limiting beliefs would come flooding in causing me to fall back into old patterns.
After years of struggling with this, I hit the breaking point that launched my awakening in 2018. I knew that it was time to rebuild my relationship with myself, and that it would need to happen from the ground up.
If you struggle to keep your own word to yourself, or frequently betray yourself to please others, know that it is possible to change.
Below are the steps and practices that have helped me along my journey- these are things that I still practice daily and I hope they will empower you to rebuild a foundation of trust within yourself too!
How To Build Self Trust:
Start With Small Promises
Keeping small promises is one of the simplest ways to start building trust with yourself. Simple acts of self love are a great place to start. It can be as simple as drinking a glass of water upon waking up, meditating for 10 minutes, starting the day with a fresh juice or smoothie. The goal is to make promises to yourself that you're confident you can keep. This will help you build positive momentum and a sturdy foundation.
Here's a daily practice to help you get started:
1. At night before going to sleep, write down 1-3 small promises that you will keep to yourself the following day. Treat this journal entry like a self love contract that you are signing off on before going to sleep. You can even physically sign your name at the bottom if that makes it feel more official!
2. Upon waking up, trust that "you" from last night had your best interest in mind when you wrote them down, and commit to keeping the promises you made no matter what your mind has to say about it. Check it off and celebrate yourself as you go.
3. At night, look at your list and thank yourself for keeping the promise or promises.
4. Repeat step one for the following day and continue this practice daily.
As you get comfortable making and keeping small promises with yourself, you will start to trust yourself more and more. You may find that you want to add more small promises to your list, or you may feel ready to make more long term promises and commitments.
This is where the next one comes in...
Demonstrate Your Own Abilities
One of the best ways to build self trust is by demonstrating your own abilities to yourself. This means showing yourself that you will follow through on taking daily action that will compound over time to create a lasting change or result. This is the shift from small acts of self love, to larger long term commitments.
Some examples of this could be:
- Paying off a car loan, credit card, or other debt
- Starting and keeping a workout routine
- Dietary or lifestyle changes
- Starting and completing a project (building a house, writing a book, etc.)
- Learning a new skill
By doing this, you will start to demonstrate to yourself that you can be trusted to follow through and make lasting changes in your life. From here, you will be able to take bigger steps outside of your comfort zone.
More on that below...
Step Outside Of Your Comfort Zone
Another way to build self trust is by intentionally stepping out of your comfort zone. This means doing things that scare you, and proving to yourself that you can do it. This is where you can really dare yourself to dream, take bigger leaps of faith, and create a whole new life for yourself.
This could look like:
- Following your passion/starting a business
- Saying yes to speaking at an event
- Asking for a raise or a promotion
- Moving to a new place
- Completely changing careers
- Getting married and starting a family
Here are some questions to ask yourself to find out what this looks like for you:
1. What does my dream life look like and what steps would I need to take to start creating it?
2. If I could do anything and wasn't afraid of anything, what would I do?
3. What is something I want deep at my core but haven't been allowing myself to move towards?
Know that as you answer these questions, it is normal for fear to come up. In these instances, it can be helpful to look back through your journals and remind yourself of all of the promises you've kept, or to write out a list of everything you've already followed through on.
As you continue to do the things that scare you the most, you will not only develop a deep level of self trust, but you will start to realize you can create the life you've always dreamed of.
That is what I wish for you! If you try any of these out let me know in the comments.
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